Showing posts with label Diary. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Diary. Show all posts

Before Sunset

                The train sped along the blossoming English countryside and he began to nod off.  The journey was an impulsive one. Krishna had been in the country now for almost 3 years and had recently taken a fancy for taking long walks in the countryside on weekends. Time Out magazine had come out with a book which listed walks with easy access from London. There was also a timetable for walks where people could just show up on a designated day, usually over the weekend. The detail provided was meticulous including the train timings from London. Usually he liked to walk with the group but today he thought it would be better off if he walked alone. So he took the later train in the day.

He got off at Wadhurst, the terminal point, fiddling with the book, trying to find the correct page. 
‘Oh, are you doing the walk as well?’ He spun around to face a smiling young woman who also had the same book in her hand. So they set off together chatting like old friends. Because they were having such an animated discussion they soon got lost. But because of that they were rewarded by the sight of bluebells in full bloom on a field on the way. Vaneesha was good with directions and they were soon back on the path. She had bought the book just the day before and had missed the earlier train because she got up late. Krishna joked that fate had conspired to bring them together. 

They exchanged their personal stories while at the same time enjoying spring unfolding all around. It had been a long time since Vaneesha ventured into the countryside. She was like an excited kid stopping ever so often to smell the flowers. At one stretch of the walk, they had to walk through webs made by caterpillars and it was amazing to see them spin webs just like spiders. At the end of that stretch through the woods, they were covered with webs and caterpillars. 
‘Looks like Spiderman has zapped us’, he said. They picked the cobwebs off each other and laughed.

Krishna looked into her light brown hazel eyes. She had a prominent nose which somehow complimented her beauty. Her dark brown hair was tied back in a ponytail. She was wearing one of those walker’s trousers where you could detach the part just below the thighs to convert it into a shorts, which she did one hour into the walk. She had beautiful legs and exquisite skin. I’m walking with a Goddess, Krishna thought smiling to himself.

On some stretches he walked ahead of her, for there came a time when there was nothing left to be said, when there was no necessity to speak or for physical proximity. Once he turned to look behind him and she had stopped at the stables that he had just passed. She was patting a huge white stallion. He walked back towards them secretly wanting to do the same. He had never patted a horse before. She told him that she had grown up with horses in a farm and had her ways with them. Without asking, she took his hand and placed it on the stallion’s neck. His heart beating fast he marveled at the touch, the soft touch of her hand on one side and the smooth skin and underlying hardness of the stallion’s. She took pictures of him hugging the horse and nuzzling his head against the beast.

Summer was just around the corner and the day never seemed to end. All along the walk, she was competing with nature for his attention. But were they really different from each other? He marveled at the sheer physicality of this woman’s beauty, the sonorous voice, the carelessly swinging hips and the rise and fall of her breasts. On the way she shared her knowledge of plants naming almost all the flowers they saw. He was happy to be silent, listening to her, feeling love well up in his heart for her, the incredible beauty around them and the power that made all this happen. 

To be Continued...

Not so long ago...

I open my eyes and it's still dark and the mind's silent. I stumble out of bed groping for the light switch congratulating myself that my meditation is finally bearing fruits  when i realize that the silence is not of the mind but because the noisy fan is not working. So no electricity again ! It's 5 in the morning and not hot, so no complaints. I can't get lost in my room because its 6 feet by 8 feet. A strong urge to empty my bowels leads me outside to the common toilets where its pitch dark. I finally get an idea how it must feel for a blind man to shit in a new toilet, Indian squatting style. He can't poke his white stick around to probe the exact location can he ? I finally manage to do it successfully ( i think !) and make a quick exit.

Welcome to Ved Niketan ashram, a real ashram with no creature comforts. Its a backpacker's paradise and they seem to love the minimalistic design... there is a thug at the front desk who always grunts whenever I greet him. I still remember the first time I set foot in my room and sat down on my bed. Everything was suddenly fuzzy due to the enormous dust cloud that rose when I settled my backpack on the bed. Its not all bad though, the shower's excellent , a swanky new thing out of which three threads of water squeeze through almost as if it cant decide whether to piss or cry. The ashram's in a very quiet area though and they were the only people brave enough to take on a solo Indian male traveller in the whole of Rishikesh. 

This was after my stay in the great Sivananda ashram in Rishikesh, an institution in itself. To be in with any chance of staying there you have to write 2 months in advance, so straight after I landed in Rishikesh I just walked in there hoping to charm my way in. The swami in charge was not amused and told me so. But just as i did my pranams and lifted my butt off the seat, he relented and gave me the dorm. The dorm in Sivananda is ***** compared to the single room in Ved niketan . A view of the Ganga , with a sunrise thrown in everyday  + my dorm mates, who comprise of swamis in the ashram, travellers, of all ages, brahmacharis, etc. There was a guy who walked from Rameshwaram all the way here ( just 2000 km) with not a single paisa in his pocket. Everybody has their story and it will fill a book or two easily. Most of them seemed genuine , at least more than me , and that's the criteria I go by to judge genuineness! So all sorts of guys came and went during my 10 days there , and it was fascinating. Yet it was quiet most of the time, people just minded their own business. It was great not to feel the need to explain why I was STILL  travelling close to a year. It was the norm.

During the last two days though, a sanyasi took upon himself to give me small lectures on the mysteries of the universe. Maybe i reminded him of his son who was a similar age. This small mishap apart, it was a beautiful tranquil period.

 One day it was the birthday of one of the gurus and we all floated scores of diyas on the Ganga as part of the aarti ( evening worship). No photograph could capture the beauty of that scene. Finally i overcame my phobia of bacteria count  and dead bodies and swam in the Ganga. Everyday 2 oclock sharp , i used to go with a swami and man it was just ccchhhhhillllllll...... so cold  so refreshing, better than any coca cola in the world !

Any travel in India is bound to be engaging , you never know what to expect even if you're Indian. Just today, i saw a cow stealing and munching heartily some orange ice cream cones while the vendor was screaming blue murder and a Tibetan looking chap walking dreamily around in his underwear with welts all over his body as if he just landed from some S & M club. Then there's the dirt , the shit, the smells , the poverty which I can never get used to... Oh the bulls are something else here. They are big humped ones and I saw one charging a swami in the groin in a narrow lane.

So life's never dull, although... sometimes travelling alone gets to you. You might be lying in your room and suddenly it hits you, the loneliness you've always been carrying with you since birth, with no distractions in a 'foreign' land far from 'loved ones' makes you think about the absurdity of it all. Isn't it just better to sit at home and go for that 9 to 5 job? But then i look outside my window and see that the tussle between the bull and the swami is still going strong...


To the eidolon in the Zen....

With the onset of monsoons, comes the play of light and rain.The sky one moment dark,cold and brooding,the next moment ablaze with light! And the rain always gentle after that initial torrent has wiped the city clean of its dirt.

This morning,was such a glorious day and my car was bang in the busy intersection waiting to turn right.Typical Indian road scene...lots of hooting, horning, swearing.Cars were slowly coming from the opposite direction while a traffic policeman was doing what he can.I was the first in my lane and having the luxury of watching the full chaos in the junction, watching with detachment the cars ambling along.

A white Zen was coming towards me and there was a very pretty gal inside.Her car had the red cross sticker,so she must be a doc?! She had bobbed hair and looked even more beautiful coming closer.Wait a minute ,do I know her? I kept looking (not staring;) ) at her trying to figure out .She was looking back at me the whole time and suddenly the hint of a smile flickered across her lips.And finally when she passed me we were incredibly smiling at each other,together.


Of course the entire episode lasted hardly five seconds,but by Lucifer, to imagine this happening in a city full of dead people with necrotic minds.Well even if we were to assume that smiling at guys in cars at intersections was her favourite fetish ,I still think it's incredible.Short,sweet and highly uplifting...wish all relationships were like this!!

Her face,amazingly, I cannot recollect any more but her gesture, for whatever reason,still leaves me uncomfortably happy....

From the Diary....

The mind didn't register the face at first because it was wholly unexpected.When he came into the room later and asked for introductions, she might have felt a pang though she tried to hide it.Her name brought back the memories.She had changed a lot.Her face had become more angular and bony but the beauty was still there undiminished.The eyes had lost none of their beauty.Her long hair was tied tightly in a bun.It was a privilege to look at the face of a beautiful woman without a trace of make up or waxing, threading and what not...a woman in all her natural splendour...

He was always a master at hiding his emotions and engaging in small talk.Why did people meet under circumstances like this,he often wondered?Where one can't make a move,where one is bound tight by circumstances.

On their first meeting the attraction was spontaneous and mutual, though not a word was said on the matter.He had always scorned at movies where lovers were separated by "fate".The belief in the will of man, for him, was total. Yet here he was, afraid of even taking a step.
Does love need to be expressed for fulfillment? Does the culmination of love lie in sex and marriage ? Or does it lie in just the gaze and smile of the loved one?

She was immensely shy around him and laughed in a self conscious sort of way he found highly amusing.He had forgotten that she was as tall as him.In the end, he decided not to spoil the moment by asking for something as banal as a phone number.


Note :Some portions of this material above may have been plagiarized.Many thanks to the original authors!!
I am anti etiquette by nature but my behaviour over the last "few" days calls for some protocol .So a big sorry to all my handful of regular leaders, for my pushing off ,rather sinking without notice."Work" makes u do that...The Freek should know.But again ,truth to tell, was not exactly in the mood or right frame of mind...blame it on Munnar(beginning to think that the effect's permanent) ;) Anyway thanks for all the messages by all ye folks.Well I received my first private message in the bargain .Thanks for the thought...You know who u r ;)..Btw just had the feeling after reading the stuff by "a reader" that it was the freek impersonating.That guy will do desperate things by God!!Of course considering my mental state has not entirely stabilised ,it's most likely my imagination :)Ok now to post proper:

"Its been three years and it was an unexpected meeting.She had put on weight and incredibly seemed much more fairer.Though the meeting took place not exactly under auspicious circumstances ,it was good to meet someone you were sure of not seeing again.She had flown in from US but didnt look jet lagged.Her husband was a jolly fellow and did not seem to mind as we caught up with old times (gossip).


The gorgeous N,she told me, was a shadow of her former self !! N was our classmate for five years and we shared a fondness for indolence.We were both most happy when we were doing nothing.She married a neurosurgeon and shifted to US.She was a stunning woman by any standards and more importantly had someone living upstairs too.Ok I had a small crush on her, a very minor one ;) But she was not really "my type".Guess the feeling was mutual.Anyways,always hate to see a beautiful creation of God go waste.


Heck theres no time like the fun we had in college.Hostel life, trips with a 10 minute notice,flirting with girls,groupisms,politics...Our hostel was 24 hrs accessible ...anybody could go and come as they please.We relived all that and her hubby agreed with us that theres no time like college time."

-Condenced excerpts from "People who crossed the Devil's path"
Had the oppurtunity to go through my diary a couple of days back...The first entry reads Feb 2001 and the latest one on Munnar and the diary is not even one fourth over.I write in my diary only in periods of intense emotion but there are some entries which dispute this fact...

Went to bangalore for the weekend.Brr...train arrived at 4:30a.m ....it was freezing.Went to her home from the station.An unforgettable two days for more than one reason.At the end of it all one hopes to have emerged saner...or has one?

Life can seem to be topsy turvy when one looks back.Arrogance can become calculated aloofness in hindsight.But let there be no doubt about it,the girl in the train charmed me no end.One cannot call it friendship or dare call it infatuation. Acquaintance fails to explore the depth of the situation.Ah, Ruskin Bond's poem comes to the mind.

Enough for me you are beautiful,
Beauty posessed diminishes

Better a dream of love
Than love's dream broken

Better a look exchanged
Than love's word spoken

Enough for me that you walk past
A firefly flashing in the dark

The First Time Part 2


The morning was crisp and cold with the freshness of mountains in the air.Walking along the road with little or no traffic and only the sounds of nature was a rare privilege.The sound of my shoes on the ground seemed almost blasphemous.



BSNL has network coverage in Munnar,the only cell phone company to do so.But on hindsight,I'm glad I left it behind.With the exception of a small Sansui TV in the I.B ,I'm cut off from the "civilized world".



I met the D.F.O in the morning .I owed her a visit anyway.Without her helping hand,I wouldn't be here.I told her how much I was enjoying myself and the stay.I told her about the location of the I.B and how it fitted my plans to a T.She recommended me going to Marayoor , famous for its sandalwood forest.



The drive to Marayoor is inarguably the most beautiful drives in the world.Forests,tea plantations,majestic mountains,waterfalls,the smell of tea,by God it's divine.There are buses and jeeps plying regularly .I took the jeep for the view and for that sense of adventure (not much though) you get while travelling with total strangers.I was wedged in between the driver and the gear of the jeep.There were 4 persons in the front seat excluding the driver.The driver sits with half his ass hanging out in the mountain air but mercifully with both his legs inside.The person sitting next to him(poor me) will have one leg between the driver and the gear.But incidentally it wasn't that uncomfortable.But for the weakhearted pleasure loving folk, I suggest a private vehicle ;)



The people in the forest office were very accomodating and they sent a forest guard with me for trekking.Saw this prehistoric painting on top of a rock shaped like a serpent's head.Below those faint paintings was written in bold blue "priya I love you" and many such declarations from our cultured love sick countrymen.Then there was an unexplored cave...very spooky, dark and unbearably hot..



It was good fast trekking and I was exhausted when we finally reached the top.The view was great and the breeze was cool and steady.There were sandalwood trees all around and many more cut by poachers.It's incredible what man will do for money. Madhu,my guide, was an affable chap .He spoke of his hardships while we went to his village and had tea in his shop.There is a children's park which has a huge banyan tree standing majestically in the middle.But the park is in disuse and the place looks shabby and abandoned.



Back in Munnar , had a very interesting conversation with a forest guard who lamented the changing climate and the increase in pollution.There were "illegeal couples" in the inner posh resorts,he deplored.The people here are very friendly and theres the city antagonism missing here in relationships.



The night air is cool and calm.The sky is lit up with stars and one can make out all the constellations with absolute ease.There are no visitors here in the I.B except me and it's unbelievably quiet and peaceful.Just the sounds of the night and the cook preparing dinner in the kitchen.


-Sanitised,harmless excerpts from The Devil's Diary.

The First Time

The trip went well ,maybe too well...Old as I am, this was my first trip absolutely alone and that too for a long period in a "strange" land.There is something in our culture that rebels against the lone man..I guess it's there in every society of the world.The man who is alone thinks and acts differently and so even the mere sight of someone alone ,independent strikes fear in our hearts.The most often questions I were asked were of course "Where are you from?" and "Who is with you?" followed by looks ranging from amazement to contempt to loathing .I don't really feel like blogging today so I will just put in some excerpts from a diary I maintained on my trip....



The bus journey was tolerable considering the standard of K.S.R.T.C.Reached Munnar at around six in the morning.Took an auto to Devikulam where my accommodation was arranged.Despite wearing a sweater the cold wind chilled me to the bone and my mandibles worked over time through out the journey.The mountains and the tea plantations were covered by a thin mist and the clouds seemed to be all around me.The drive was breath taking.



After breakfast, walked the way back to Munnar and also went exploring some side roads leading to the Tata Tea Managers Bungalow ,build by the Britishers around 80 -100 years back.The cook cum helper in the I.B was surprised I walked all the way to Munnar.He could recollect only once when he had done so and that was in school when there was a torrential downpour and no buses plied.He he ,he hasn't seen anything of me yet...



The silent presence of nature is profound in and around the IB. A narrow recently tarred road,hugged by the forest on both sides, leads away from the main road to the IB.Even along the main road that silent presence of the forest is there, broken once in a while by a bus or jeep.It's such a pleasure to walk aimlessly like this.To look at the trees ,the enormous bee hives hanging down,and all those sparrows,doves...I had forgotten what it was to be with myself...