The French Connection

"Are you from France?"

I wheeled around to face the questioner, a dark young pot bellied guy in a faded gerua T shirt and pants, trying hard to put me at ease with his paan coloured smile.

That had to be the best compliment I got in my life, being compared to the sexiest sub species in the human kingdom. For a moment let us not focus too much on the qualification of the commentator in making such a statement but just let the comment sink in. Ahhh ! I’ve been mistaken for being a Brazilian, Sri Lankan etc but that was ages ago in a far away city called London. But the fact that I've been complimented for my looks here in my own country by a fellow countryman , I realized I had finally arrived. Big time ! This had been the purpose of all my years of wandering, vagabonding and travelling. The grand finale ! The climax ! The setting was also scenic and intensely spiritual, right on the ghats in Benares by the inky black Ganga. I had to summon every ounce of my inner strength not to get misty eyed...


sunrise varanasi
Sunrise @ Benares

Seeing my blissful knowing smile, Mr. Pot Belly assumed that I must indeed be French and  began a conversation in French to which I responded gamely with smatterings of the language I picked up in college and later. He offered his services to buy me hasish, ecstasy,,ketamine and 10 other drugs I didn't even know existed. I slowly realized that Mr Pot Belly was hinting subtly that I looked less like a French sex God and more like a French drug addict.

After I stopped running for my life from Mr Pot Belly, I met an old gentleman who headed me in English and wanted to know which country I was from. Look guys, I was dressed in kurta and jeans just like any other self respecting Indian intellectual. The only difference was that I just had my bath. Was this some sort of scam where these guys lower your defences by softening you up comparing you to a gora and then try to sell you hasish and  a boat ride? Having learnt early on in my travels never to underestimate the ingenuities my countrymen were capable of, I gave him the cold blank expression befitting a French drug addict.

26 comments:

  1. Gosh! As far as I remember I have seen instances like these inmovies. Never heard of this thing in real.
    Good that u gave him a cold shoulder!

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    1. :D Well Shesha if you travel alone your life will be even more interesting than films !

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  2. That's quite interesting French Man... :P

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    1. Satya, I don't knowhow I missed seeing your comment. Old age I suppose ! ;)
      Welcome to Vagabond Tale :)

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  3. hahah! then plz bath daily ;D

    that was a funky experience!

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    1. I actually don't like to take bath everyday but because I'm a Mallu I'm forced to do so by pure genetics ! :P

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  4. Ha ha ... a French Drug lord connection :P

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    1. Hmmm... one funny thing about the drug scene in Benares is that bhang (cannabis) is legal. i actually saw a Govt. bhang shop where they were selling bhang balls I kid you not ! ) to stoned out punters... It's the Amsterdam of India ! :D

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  5. Hello greetings.

    LOL. I enjoyed this excellent post. Best wishes

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    1. Greetings Sir, Thank you for the kind words & Welcome to Bond land !!! :D

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  6. Haha this is hilarious :)

    Sometimes I get confused for a Latino!

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    1. That's great ! After the French the Latinos are considered the hottest ! ;) Make the most of it :D

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  7. lol!!!:P That was some experience...guess a bath decides your nationality :D

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    1. But then you think twice before plunging into the Ganga in Benares thanks to the pollution :(

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  8. I have gotten confused for a north pole resident, due to my love of Christmas :)

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    1. Keith, Superstar of Blogger, welcome to Vagabond Tale ! It's an honour to see you comment here. I love Christmas too especially the ones I had in England. But I guess you get confused for a north pole resident coz of your love of snow more than anything else ;)

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  9. Hmmm..French,eh? Are you skilled in the particular intimate activity named after the French?

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    1. Of course you could only be hinting at the French manicure, which I'm afraid I'm completely hopeless at... :D

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    2. hahaha

      that was actually witty, bond!

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    3. lol... with M I have to be at my very best :D

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  10. I have small eyes, my whole life my folks have teased me by calling me Nepali or Chinese. So a few years back, through work, I got a chance to visit Shanghai. Guess what...at the Delhi airport, before boarding some chinese guy walked up to me and started talking to me in Mandarin :P ~cough~ he also thought i was chinese.

    that picture is beautiful..where is it in benaras? i have relatives there so i have gone to benaras many times in childhood (not been there for many years now) did you go to that kashi vishvanath temple and the lane that sells those cute wooden toys. i used to love it as a kid. not sure if that still exists.

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  11. Hi Nepali, ;) The airport incident's hilarious...ROTF. The pic was snapped on Harishchandra Ghat . The sunrise was so beautiful that I thought ' screw the meditation , Im gonna click away! '. Hmmm there are a million and one lanes in Benares of which I walked on just some 50 odd... You can explore and wander forever there AND at every corner is a photo opportunity ! Had amazing darshan in Vishwanath :D

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  12. Lol....
    I never heard this kind of incident, an Indian not recognizing an Indian.
    Btw, loved the way you had written it..!!
    Nice photo...!!good click..!!

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Thanks for taking the time to write :)