A very short train journey


'GE-1' misspelled the sms from IRCTC. So I  walked into G-1 compartment and confidently parked my ass there.  Another half an hour for the Garib Rath to Delhi to take off.  I decided to go for a stroll. Just 10 minutes before departure I return to find a seductively smiling bhabhiji occupying my seat. She cooed that 69 was her number and that GE-1 was a different compartment altogether. Shell shocked by this revelation, I hauled my luggage out and started looking for GE-1. G-1 was just behind the engine so there was just one way to go. The train seemed never ending as I walked/ran the platform. G-9,G-10....G-14, G-15...  Where was GE-1? Was it a part of the train at all or just a figment of Railway's imagination? A perfect case for Mr. Bond. Then the platform started to curve so I was not really sure whether there were any more bogies. Finally after a million miles, I see GE-1. Why shouldn't it be called G-20 since it came after G-19? Maybe the British had forbidden more than 19 bogeys from being named to a train and this was Indian Railway's ingenious way to circumvent the law.

An elderly hair dyed Auntyji immediately pounced on me seeing I had the coveted LB( Lower Berth). Since nodding my head and saying yes involved the least exertion, I did just that. Thankfully her berth was the middle one, just above mine, so I didn't have to climb to Mount Everest which was the height of the Upper Berth. The TTE (Train Ticket Examiner) came at the ungodly hour of 10:30pm to check tickets. I was really tired and was looking forward to a good night's rest.

indian garib rath
The inside view of a Garib Rath coupe


The next thing I know my blanket is being pulled down and a torch is being shoved at my face. Thinking that either it's a hold up or rape attempt I go for the wallet hoping to pacify the attacker whatever his intentions, with money. I just wanted some sleep. But no this was the TTE asking Auntyji to get down at my stop. I tell him in a gruff voice that my name is Bond and I'm not Auntyji for Christ's sake ! He slithers away and I notice that Auntyji has already vacated my LB so I shift down. The time dear friends :1:30 am.

A couple of hours later the incident is repeated except that this time I don't use the Bond line but the choiciest Hindi expletives at Mr. A.K Singh the TTE villian. More like A.K 47 if you ask me and no where near fancy as Dr. NO. He slithers off again with no reaction and I lie awake the rest of the night anticipating the next intrusion. But all that happens to break the monotony of the rocking train is somebody yelling that their phone has been stolen in the wee hours of the morning.


16 comments:

  1. hahah! that was funny! poor u :P

    that's the beauty of Indian railways..lol!!

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    1. Yep the journey's never boring to be fair :)

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  2. You described scenes of a train journey so perfectly :D

    And climbing the Mount Everest ... ha ha ha :D

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    1. Well amrit now I laugh about it, butit was not that funny when the shit was actually happening ! :D

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  3. Haha..makes me look forward to my train journey next week..NOT..the worst are the side upper berths..designed with midgets in mind..you end up having to sleep in a foetal position..and the next morning you have to straighten out your joints one painful crick after another..*sigh*

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    1. :D ... lol....its worse in Garib Raths where they stuff 3 guys into the side berths ! The painful cricks on the other hand might have more to do with old age than side upper berths ;)

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    2. Hey, do you have the evil eye or something, because guess which seat I got? The side lower berth in a garib rath..and I didnt even know that I had reserved a berth in a garib rath because the Indian railways allotted a pseudonym to it just to confuse infrequent travellers like me..and I had to ward off an uncleji and auntyji who had their eye on my coveted lower berth by pretending to be pregnant with twins..well, I just implied it actually;-)

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  4. Hahaha..... Aunties seem to have a thing for you....

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  5. Did I just see an 'About Comments' section? :D ~slow clap~

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    1. @S, much more has changed ;) Have a closer look :)

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  6. Hahahaha.....The great Indian railway journey - never a dull moment and plenty of heartburn.

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  7. Lolz... This is funny...
    And for such more interesting and funny incidents, travel more by train!!!!

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  8. We can smile/laugh now while reading your post. But it would have been pure torture when the TTE woke you up more than once while you were sound asleep.

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  9. Lol! I was all smiling. For some reason mt. Everest seems a bad option but it in reality is the most peaceful place to rest during day/ night!!!

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  10. I knew the relief we feel when we finally get our seat correct in a train, in your case, u didn't find your bogey, I can imagine what your expressions would have been in that situation but it's funny too.
    Thanks for sharing, it really made me smile;-)

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Thanks for taking the time to write :)