Hello & Goodbye !

I’m setting sail today but the eternal procrastinator that I am, packing is yet to begin. Life slows down when you vagabond. There is seldom a morning plane to catch or a deadline to be honoured. When life assumes an unhurried pace, apart from feeling lazy, you start to hear your inner chatter and longings. Seeing the real you and not the ideas you have created about yourself is probably not a great experience. I got into travel thinking it would be a 24 hour party but unfortunately that’s not been the case so far. Long spells of aloneness broken by the arrival of an uninvited stranger. But I love these periods of aloneness; it makes me who I am. It feels good for my spirit as if I’m delving into myself, almost 24 hour contemplation.

Travel is all about hellos and goodbyes. A realization that all is fleeting. How many people met on the way will you see again? The magnificent impermanence that is life hits you. The year’s just into its second month but strangely I’ve been contemplating about death. I’m thinking of leaving a set of instructions for the D day. Maybe I can carry them around? Here are some not so morbid points:

1. I do not want to die in a hospital.
2. I do not want a doctor pumping my chest and giving electric shocks.
3. I want to breathe my last in nature.
4. I want to die alone (I'm still thinking on this one!)
5. I want to be fully conscious when I go (no morphine!)

    See, now you know what unconventional travel does to a supposedly sane mind. I’m already thinking of death! Bloody hell!

 Looking forward to meet an old friend in Delhi and then onwards march to Manali. I’ll see you folks in Delhi.

Blog news: I’m enabling comment moderation. For some reason I've been spammed a lot these last few days. So don’t panic and call the cops, if your comments are not immediately visible!


  1. Pan,have you ever thought of making a will??
    The ideas that you penned down about how you wanted to die..they reminded me of the crazy will i made :)
    Im going to go find it right NOW!!

  2. "dieing alone" surely needs a rethinking to be done..!!
    apart from that totally agree..!! i too am a sucker for loneliness..so, some similarity there..!!
    nice feel throughout the post:)

  3. I totally relate to the lonliness bit... really nice post. As for dying... wow, I honestly never gave it much thought except that if it has to be death 'cause of a disease, it better be an exotic disease at that... :P

  4. Have a good one!. I hope you enjoy every bit of it, and it turns out rich in experience!. :) . I like being alone, but dying alone-now that I am not so sure, but something tells me I will!

  5. Well I'll have you know, writing a will is supposedly therapeutic and stuff.:D One of my uni assignments involves writing myself an eulogy. Hahaha. So the idea is: thinking abt death makes you a better person in life (the whole impermanence thingy). Talk abt irony.

  6. Raji, yes i have thought about it several times but never got around to do it. always associated the will making to distributing money to secretly pleased relatives. crazy will? aren't all wills crazy :P

  7. ok, we got some very sad and lonely people here, Krittika. point to be clear about : i like aloneness, where you're sort of comfy in your company as against loneliness, where it's imposed upon you and you feel miserable to be alone ! krittika the best way to go is to have a disease named after you. ;)

  8. Gal, something really out of control really. where and how and when we die unless ofcourse i advance spiritually so much that i tell people in advance when im likely to get stuffed. who knows it might happen. watch this space for more ;)

  9. Jeeves, you do the most weird things ever, in the name of education !

  10. Carry around instructions? I was actually thinking that too! It's kind of... creepy, though. Oh well, creepers see the world better anyway.
    Have fun on your trip! I think the best part of a trip is meeting those random people. You don't have to worry about being excessively superficial because you most likely wouldn't have to see them again. (except you would want to see some people... but that's beside my point. )

  11. hahah been thinking about writing the "terms for my death" maybe now ill get to it.


Thanks for taking the time to write :)