My experiments without mom

A peculiar situation on the domestic front. Each time I visit my parents I resolutely decide to be on my guard against sloth. But after a week or so, it starts to infiltrate into my brain like an old familiar friend and I just lie around and … eat… and sleep. This is exactly why I decided to travel in the first place. People often think that travellers travel coz of an itch in their pants to see places, have new experiences and for spiritual growth. Nonsense! Mostly its because we have nothing better to do and have some spare cash lying around. Yeah guys go on and be jealous !

That's my story anyway. Too many comforts and life slowly slips into auto gear and Pan starts to wither away. Life becomes predictable and I start taking people and things for granted. Undoubtedly if I live in Trivandrum all the time, it’s a very shitty place to live in. It’s only because I travel to even more shitty places that Trivandrum looks hopelessly perfect to me now. My friends here just don’t get it.

As I was saying, a peculiar situation at home. The major causative factor for sloth is mom, or her indulgence. (We have a saying in Malayalam which means if something's shitty in your life , blame it on mom ! )This holiday I really decided to cut the sloth. I packed off mathaji to an Ayurvedic centre for 10 days to rest and heal her worsening arthritis. Rest from 35 years of non stop labour. I expected her to swoon and thank me endlessly but all she could think about was how we were going to eat ! 

So as she was chilling out, getting her systems tuned and oiled, it was up to sis and me to enter the dreaded space called kitchen. Mom had helpfully left behind recipies of some dishes we could attempt. The opening day’s performance, dosa was a runaway success. I’m now a certified Ghee roast specialist. Ha that was easy! Somewhere in the middle of the 2nd day, Dad inexplicably not satisfied with our excellent culinary skills, gave full powers to the maid to manage lunch and dinner. Apparently our innovations with coconut, chillies and coriander were just not working for him! But sis and I brushed aside this minor setback  and held our fort for breakfast. Dad was forced to eat half cooked appams and passable (just) upmas. 

But it was all good  fun and more importantly woke me up in the morning instead of stumbling out of bed with The Hindu. On the plus side of life without amma, the house is quieter and I get nagged less. The fridge is half empty because we chucked out all the unidentifiable fungal food stuff. Some of the objects excavated were turned over to the Archeological Survey of India.

So if you’re experiencing apathy in your life, blame it on mom but at the same time why not give her a break? Get zing back into your life and learn the hard way that the life in the kitchen ain't no cat walk !

Disjointed jottings

My firm conviction that women are my preferred  objects of desire stand corrected after the stay in the ashram. I'll admit it, even in the ashram I used to check the gals out. Yeah, I know, what a hard life a man has ! But not with hope or pleading eyes, as in the outside world. Oh no,Here we are the catch ! We are the ones who are forbidden to mix with them . A la role reversal. Yes we brahmacharis (even though short term !) are the prize catch indeed. Also the protective atmosphere of the ashram makes it easy to treat it as a game , and not the life and death scenario that chasing a woman usually involves. :D Hell I don't do chasing , I get chased.

It was this week that I realized that all this changed albeit temporarily. Usually I used to subtly check the women out on the way to the dining hall which was the only place where you could relaistically meet them. Any pretty girls visiting? But this week I suddenly realized I had stopped doing this. Now before you make assumptions like my  kundalini had begun its upward ascent or something like that,  I'll tell you my new vice. Actually there are a few. Topping the list is Gulab jamun. Ahhh heaven , bliss intoxication, I had 3 today. So sweet so soft. No need to seduce that sugary little brown ball. Where's the need to say sweet nothings ?Also not really necessary to take your clothes off for full enjoyment. Although I do admit to looking lovingly at them before they disappeared down my alimentary canal.God i can still taste those 3 juicy slightly crunchy gulab jamuns. Fruit Custard ( be still my heart !) comes second and Jalebi a close third.

The funny or not so funny part is that I am not alone. Its one of the greatest paradoxes in spirituality that the more you delve into yourself the more the world opens to you in every way. You notice the flowers that you never noticed before on the sidewalk. The river so ordinary before now seems endless in its shades and movement. The women are all pretty , irrespective whether they are 16 or 60. Maybe why all the scriptures warn the aspirant to not look at the opposite sex.The food has never tasted as delicious as this ever. Even though you are lectured day in and out on the impermanence of desire the desire is still there. Only it transfers to a more acceptable vice. That's why you will find many sanyasins/priests with a thing for food. Im hardly a sanyasin but since ive been following their lifestyle for 2 months i guess ive developed some of their qualities !
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The most comfortable item of wear in a hot climate has to be the mundu(dhoti). Yes indeed I'm loving the feeling of wearing a skirt and connecting with the feminine side of me ! Last post I wrote how unusual it was to find a ladies bag in the Ganga. My friend rang a couple of numbers from an address  book in the bag. He located the lady who came to meet him distraught, to collect her belongings. She had arrived in Rishikesh the previous evening with her friend and was staying in an ashram on the opposite bank. She goes for an early morning dip with her handbag, leaves it at the side of the river on the ghats takes 3 dips in 15 seconds turns around and oui, it's gone with 7000/-. AGH , women ! Not a tiny sum for an Indian. That's India, folks spirituality happily coexists( i think!) with depravity, all part of a universal moral order. I better stop before I start a lecture ...
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Still in matters related to the dining hall there was a lady there yesterday handing out crisp 100/- notes to the Sanyasins. The monks are ones who are supposed to have renounced everything and live on the charity of others. Still it seemed wierd to see them accept it so casually without guilt,happiness or thankfulness as if it was just a daily affair. I was helping the kitchen out late into the afternoon when the Swami who manages the dining hall materializes infront of me with the 'cash lady'. 'These guys do seva(selfless service, ha!) here' , pointing to me and another guy. My co-sevak jumped for the money with glee. I mumbled something to the Swami about the inappropriateness but found it rude/uncomfortable to refuse. In the end i think I did the right think coz my ego took  a big hit. I was a beggar although a bit of a posh one. You know the whole point of begging is to reduce/annihilate the ego. I've no doubt about that considering how difficult it was to accept money even when doled out with a free heart.